The Beer Bitch

I drink beer. I am a bitch.


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We’ve now switched to drinking mojitos. I have several reasons for this decision. Let me list them off for you:

1. There was some Mojito Mix from Trader Joe’s on top of the fridge that’s been there since last summer.

2. There is a shitload of mint growing in the garden, and though it smells good, I never can find a reason to use it.

3. I was bored.

4. There was cold rum in the freezer.

5. We’re borderline alcoholics.

Just kidding.

OK, maybe.

Just kidding Mom!

Anyway, the mojitos make it feel like Summertime up in this joint. And now I’m thinking about Will Smith. And now Tom Cruise. And now Posh Beckham is making me feel fat.


I blame the mint. And my boyfriend’s ex. (She’s my default villain in every scenario. I hate her on principal, but on many principals that I will get into later, but not now. My brother’s ex was my previous default villain. They’re pretty similar actually. Again, we can talk about that later. And, also, by default villain I mean these are the people who are villains in my nightmares at night. I know worse people, but my subconscious only lets me dream of slightly hateful people.)

I think I had a point in telling you about the mojitos. One that didn’t lead to me being an alcoholic. Don’t judge; it’s the weekend. I don’t remember that point so let me end with this: mojitos are delicious FTW!

Written by thebeerbitch

April 26, 2008 at 12:02 am

Posted in Drunken ramblings, Weekends

Tagged with ,

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