The Beer Bitch

I drink beer. I am a bitch.

Archive for May 2008

Quote of the Day

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I’d like to introduce you all to a little something we like to refer to around here as: QOTD or the quote of the day.

I’m sure you’re all familiar with this concept.  Some days no one says or reads anything noteably funny.  Other days someone will say something so silly, or so blatantly obvious, that we all giggle and it earns the distinction of QOTD.

Yesterday’s quote of the day comes from Sean’s friend Primo via his iPhone (it’s pretty cool):

Did you see it? “Don’t be a queer have a beer.”  He’s somewhere in the South where the PC Police don’t visit.

Today’s QOTD: Re Breakfast via Sarah (that’s me): “It’s like an Egg McMuffin; if Egg McMuffins were delicious.”

Breakfast= Ham + Cheese + Toasted Homemade Bread + Fried Egg

Yeah, we’re really not that funny around here.  Mostly because we almost never leave the house and only have each other, and two retarded dogs for company.  You can’t say we don’t eat well though.

More ham adventures coming soon.

P.S.  Sean doesn’t seem to be exhibiting any spots yet, but you’ll all be the first to know if he does.

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May 23, 2008 at 8:28 pm

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Cuban Sandwiches

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I have a confession.

I’ve been thinking about Cuban Sandwiches for a while now.  I tend to get something (food related) on the brain, and then I can’t stop thinking about it.  And, I don’t know about you, but it’s really better for me to just bite the bullet, and make whatever it is that I’m obsessing about, or I end up eating far too much of something else to fill that gaping hole in my belly that is screaming out “FEED ME SOME CUBANS!”

But your belly may not be as bossy as mine is though.  I don’t know.

There was just one small obstacle in my way: Sean seems to be allergic to ham.  Like, break out in hives and be miserable allergic.  So it didn’t look like we were going to be eating Cubans anytime soon.

But then, the stars aligned, and we had homemade pickles and a pork roast in the fridge and we both thought it would be a good time to buy a little ham, and make the sandwiches, hives be damned!

Well, a little ham turned into a 10 pound bone-in beast.  In our defense the only way we could be sure it was real food was to buy bone-in, and that was the smallest one we could find.  Also, ham is super cheap.  I think we paid $15 for that monster.

The ham came home with us, went straight into the oven, and after a few hours I coated it with apricot jam, grainy mustard, and brown sugar.  It is sooooo good.  And, Sean may need to start taking some kind of antihistamine soon.  In large doses.

So, to make a Cuban sandwich here’s what you do:

Rinse and dry a pork roast.  Chop up an onion, and brown it in a dutch oven, and then brown the roast too.  (Simple: salt, pepper, cook ’til done.)  Throw the whole mess in the oven at 300F for 2 or 3 hours.

Get a big ham.  Rinse it, dry it, throw it in the oven at 350F for three hours.  Then glaze it.  And throw it back in there for another half hour or so.

Take it out to rest for 20 minutes, and slice it.

Now you got your ham, your got your pork roast, you just need some cheese (swiss is traditional, but not my favorite cheese, so I subbed in jack,) mustard, and pickles.  Pile it all on a roll, and if you have a panini press or some fancy thing like that, press that baby.  If you have a grill pan like us, just lay it on there and smush it with something heavy (like a dutch oven and a tea pot.)

Try not to burn one side of it in the mayhem of trying to get the dogs out of the kitchen.

Slice (or not) and serve.

Porky, hammy, pickly, cheesy Nirvana.

Totally worth the hives.  (I think… I don’t know obviously.)

Anyway, I’m sure there will be more ham adventures coming, because there’s still a shitload of it in the fridge.

And as always, don’t forget the beer.

Written by thebeerbitch

May 23, 2008 at 5:55 pm

Posted in Easy dinners, Obsessions

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I’m still waiting for our ham to cook, because obviously we had to buy a REALLY big one.  That’s just the way we roll, but luckily I had the foresight to buy some chiles and make this guajillo salsa. It’s pretty damn tasty with tortilla chips, especially when you’re starving, and the fucking ham isn’t done yet.

Note:  You might need a few cold beers with this one.  It’s delicious, but it’ll make you sweat.

Written by thebeerbitch

May 23, 2008 at 2:15 am

Posted in Drunken ramblings, Obsessions

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Simple Pleasures

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I got home from work the other day to find this in our backyard. Is that not a lovely picture of beautiful Baja Daisies? There were also some Modelo Especials and some Dos Equis Ambers in that cooler. It was hot here, and cold, cold beers were definitely a happy welcome home from work.

Because it had been so hot, Sean and I decided to make a simple dinner out of the tomatoes that we bought at the Farmer’s Market, some bread I’d made that morning, and fresh mozzarella. We were in agreement that plain basil leaves are teh suck, so I broke out my flavor shaker, and mixed up a clove of garlic, a bunch of basil, salt, pepper, red wine vinegar and olive oil to top our tomatoes. It was spicy, from the raw garlic, and deadly for our breath, but extremely tasty. The bread was good for piling on the deconstructed salad or for just sopping up the mess that the dressing left behind. It was maximum yum, for very little effort.

Pay no mind to all the dressing dribbles on the counter. I’m not perfect.

In other news, our pickles are AWESOME!

They’re the inspiration for tonight’s dinner: Cuban Sandwiches. I’ve been roasting pork in the oven for the last three hours, and it smells delicious. So, I’m off to the store for ham and some cheese, and I’ll be back later with pictures of all the porky, pickly goodness.

Written by thebeerbitch

May 22, 2008 at 8:57 pm

Posted in Easy dinners

Tagged with , ,

Hot dogs

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Just a friendly reminder:  Hot dogs are awesome.

From Natalie Dee.

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May 19, 2008 at 10:00 pm

Posted in Obsessions

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Sorry we’ve been so busy around here and I’ve been neglecting the blog! Here are my excuses:

I started my new job, and it’s great.


It’s been a million fucking degrees here. (Obviously that’s an exaggeration, but it has been over 100 for a couple of days, so there hasn’t been much cooking going on in our kitchen.)

Luckily, Sean loves to grill, so we’ve made use of the BBQ.

Saturday we went to the Farmer’s Market and picked up some fresh local cod, a bunch of tomatoes and some blueberries and apricots. The fruit isn’t quite up to snuff yet, IMO, because it’s not super sweet quite yet. The tomatoes, on the other hand were amazing, and Sean made a delicious Caprese salad Saturday night, and some salsa for fish tacos for lunch on Sunday.


Last night Sean grilled some pork, corn and onions for dinner. It was delicious, but I was beat from the heat, and forgot to take pictures.

The only thing I made this weekend were pickles. I adore pickles, and have been meaning to try to make my own for some time, but never seemed to find the courage or the gumption to do so. This recipe made it seem easy, so we picked up the supplies, and made our own pickles.

I have been on a mission lately to make things from scratch, and seem to find that most recipes I try are super simple, and take almost no time to mix up, but do require some patience to wait for things to cook, or cure, or rise, or roast. It’s pretty incredible, and really satisfying to make your own bread (which I also did this weekend, and I swear I’ll get to that recipe soon,) pickles, etc. My next project: jam. After that: kimchi. I’m going to clean out our super creepy basement, home to a thousand spider ghosts, and make room for jars of STUFF. (Especially because kimchi stinks, and I don’t want it in the house.)

Anyway, the pickles take just a few days to ferment, and then they should be ready to eat. I’ll let you know how they turned out, but here’s what they look like so far.

It took about an hour to make the pickles, but most of that time was spent waiting for water to boil. The only real work was washing and slicing cucumbers, and smashing a few cloves of garlic. Easy as pie.

I can’t wait to try them!

Needless to say, there was also a lot of beer consumed this weekend, just like every other weekend at our house, but we didn’t make it to the Paso Robles Wine Festival.  It was too hot outside, I had to leave for work halfway through it, and to be honest, red wine tastes pretty naff when it’s 104 outside.  (We did open a few bottles of white and rose this weekend though, and they were cool, refreshing and just right.)

Hope you all had a good weekend!

Written by thebeerbitch

May 19, 2008 at 9:22 pm

Posted in Obsessions, Weekends

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Birthday Weekends are the Shit!

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Sorry I haven’t been around to write the last couple of days. It’s been sort of crazy around here, but crazy in the best possible way.

First, I got a new job. I wasn’t really stoked about it, and I was supposed to start on my birthday (Saturday,) but then something amazing happened.

I got another job at my favorite place on earth! So, instead of starting at my first new job, I quit on my birthday, and am starting tomorrow at my second new job at my favorite place on earth. Needless to say, I am super excited!

Friday night I wanted something unspicy, since we had been eating chile verde leftovers all week, and our stomachs needed a break (if you know what I mean.) So we made pizza dough, and topped it with caramelized onions, leeks, and mushrooms, and a mix of ricotta and goat cheese.

I think it was missing something, and next time I’ll add a sauce of some sort, maybe pesto.

PizzaPizza again

The crust on that pizza was a little retarded, but it doesn’t really matter. We made a second pizza, and there are still leftovers in the fridge. That one was prettier, but I didn’t take any pictures. I must have been drunk

Saturday, Sean had plans to surprise me with a birthday lunch of hot dogs, but since I had the day off we went to Taco Temple instead. It was amazing (as always) but I forgot my camera, so there are no pictures of the calamari and halibut tacos. If you’ve never been to the Taco Temple you need to drag your scrawny butt there, and bring your appetite. It’s incredible. Huge pieces of grilled halibut, on a bed of greens, not even pretending to be a “taco” until you get to the very bottom of the plate, and notice that there are two smallish corn tortillas at the bottom. It’s really good.

After that we went to the brewery, or as I like to call it “my favorite place earth,” for a birthday beer or three.

Then home for burgers. I know. I’m a low-fi kinda girl. It really doesn’t take much more than burgers and beers to make me happy on my birthday.

First we had another beer.


Or two.

And then we talked about opening some wine, which we somehow (wisely) decided would be a bad idea, but I think we may have had some in the fridge. (OK, we did have some leftover Fat Boy in the fridge that we drank.)

Linne Calodo

Sean told me I couldn’t tell you about this wine, because it’s our favorite wine in the world, and we don’t want you to buy it out from under us. It truly is amazing, and not to be wasted by drunken morons who have already had too much beer.

Don’t be like us.

Then we lit the fire, grilled some onions, cooked some bacon, fired some burgers, melted some cheese onto them, fried a few eggs, and sliced some pickles. It looked like this.

FireOnions.Raw burgers.Cheese.Pickles.Bacon in the sun.Eggs.

When you put it all together it looks like this:



Burger with cheese.

Burger with cheese.

Perfectly cooked soft centered egg.

(That picture just does not want to load, so you’re going to have to use your imagination.)

Onions on eggs.

Put some grilled onions on top of that egg.

Topped with bacon.

Put some bacon on top of those onions.


I also sliced up some half sour pickles, and put a little mustard on there, so the sourness would cut through all the richness of everything else. Then I smushed it all down so the egg would run all over.

It was a perfect birthday dinner with my super amazing boyfriend. I’m one lucky girl.

And, as always don’t forget the beer.

White beer.

We also had a pretty amazing day on Sunday.

Sean’s getting me a bike for my birthday (did I not tell you he’s the greatest guy EVAR?) So, we went bike shopping. I think I’ve decided on an Electra Amsterdam bike in black with eight speeds. It’s going to be bitching.

We really worked up a thirst shopping so we had to go to the brewery to rehydrate.

After that we decided to pretend we were in Long Beach at Joe Jost’s for the weekend, and we picked up a case of Pabst Blue Ribbons, and the makings for a “special.”

Joe Jost’s sells a “special” which is basicallly a hot dog on a piece of rye, with mustard, jack cheese and a pickle, served with spicy pickled eggs and pretzels. I had made a loaf of rye bread, but the butcher wasn’t open, so we had to resort to brats, but we had pickled eggs from Joe Jost’s in the fridge and pretzels to go on the side.

The bread wasn’t as tasty as I thought it could have been. It needed more rye flour, but it was still pretty good, and almost like being at the bar thanks to the cold PBRs.

The Special.Paint your nails!The pickle fell off.

We also added some grilled onions and garlic, because we could. The Joe Jost police weren’t there to tell us not to.

Overall, it was a fantastic weekend, even though my best friend flaked on dinner last night, and I was pissed, but that’s sort of just the way she is. Whatever, Sean and the dogs and I had a great time, and 29 doesn’t seem so bad so far.

Written by thebeerbitch

May 12, 2008 at 6:43 pm