The Beer Bitch

I drink beer. I am a bitch.

Posts Tagged ‘Pizza

Pizza and wasting beer

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I’ve been a little obsessed with pizza lately, but it’s been really hot here.  Like 111 degrees F hot for a few days, and it is hard to get motivated to cook on days that hot.  I will note though: a cold beer sure is delicious when it’s hot oustide.

So, Sunday was the first day we’ve really cooked in a while.  Unforutanately, I had to work, so Sean said he would throw together the pizza dough for me.  Also unfortunately, one of my coworkers recommended using porter in the pizza dough instead of water.  Luckily for us, Sean made the dough as I suggested and made a second dough with porter.  Because the dough with the porter: EPIC FAIL.  What a waste of good beer!

To make a long story short, when I got home form work on Sunday at about 8:00, we lit the barbecue to grill our pizzas.  There was enough dough for 4 pizzas, so I started with one half of the original recipe, and one half of the one with the porter, and dumped the other two halves in the fridge for a later date.

The first pizza spent two minutes on the barbecue before catching on fire.  I hear about people grilling pizzas all the time, but we have already burnt two pizzas on our grill.  I’m starting to think this “grilling pizzas” thing is some sort of “urban legend.”

So, pizza number two, was an attempt with the porter.  The dough was flat, dense, and would not stretch.  I struggled with it for a few minutes, and then threw it, and it’s ugly twin sister, in the trash.

At this point I turned on the oven, which I should have done in the first place, but was loath to do so because of the oppressive heat.  Lucky for me it wasn’t such a factor at 10 at night.  When we finally did eat, at close to 11, the pizza was delicious.  I just think that from now on I might stick to recipes from reliable sources, and not some dude who’s diet consists mainly of beer. *

The toppings included: mozzarella, red onion, red bell pepper, brown mushrooms, salami, spicy soppresetta, and that old tomato sauce that is so simple and sooooooo good.

In the end I sprinkled the fourth pizza with fresh parmigiano reggiano, and served it with a little arugula salad, with sliced onions, lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper, and ricotta salata.  And, a tasty glass of Walker’s Reserve, the aforementioned porter.  It was delicious.

And all was good in the world again.

* I am a huge advocate of beer, and food, but not people who don’t really eat any food and just replace those missing calories with beer.  I’m just sayin’.

Written by thebeerbitch

June 25, 2008 at 2:20 am

Salad, Pasta and Pizza

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I am always looking for new recipes to try, and have been eyeing a few from Orangette for a while.  I keep finding myself attracted to recipes from mostly vegetarian sites, even though I am far from a vegetarian, and have an Anthony Bourdain-like disdain for vegetarians.  Weird, but true.  (Maybe my veggie obsession is why my brother has taken to calling Sean and I “dirty hippies who stink?”  First of all, we don’t even smoke pot, and second of all, I do stink sometimes, but never of patchouli or anything vaguely hippie.  Mostly I stink of sweat (it’s hot here!) and/or onions, but I digress…)

This Orangette recipe has been calling my name for a while.  I love onions, and I love cheese.  I pulled out my trusty copy of Mario Batali’s Babbo cookbook though, and found that Miss Molly of Orangette had substituted water for the chicken stock (which Batali said you could do, but still!  Do you see what I mean about vegetarians?  They are not to be trusted.)  Nonetheless, it took me a while to find the ricotta salata, but once it was in hand all I could think about was making this onion and cheese pasta.

But, then I got side-tracked again and noticed this salad. I decided I would make that too, but substitute ricotta salata for the feta because ricotta salata is so good.  It’s my new favorite cheese.

So I sliced up all these onions:

And we cooked them for a lot longer than the recipe(s) called for, but it still wasn’t long enough.  Everything turned out kinda blah.  I didn’t even take a picture of the finished product.

Surprisingly, (because it was more of an afterthought, and to be honest I was a bit skeptical of all the ingredients but the cheese and the avocado) the salad was fucking delicious.  I could eat it every day.  Really.  It was crunchy, and bitter, and salty, and so satisfying in texture and taste.

So, after the disappointment of the vegetarian pasta ( I should have known better,) and the surprising yumminess of the salad, I decided we should make something we knew we would like last night.

Oh baby!  This pizza was good.

This pizza dough + this sauce + thinly sliced red onions + thinly sliced brown mushrooms + hot italian sausage crumbled and cooked = pizza that’s better than anything you can buy around here.

And we didn’t even have to leave the house.

And my brother can stop calling me a fucking hippie.

Written by thebeerbitch

June 17, 2008 at 6:08 pm

Posted in Easy dinners, Obsessions

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Pizza Eggs take two

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Pizza Eggs

Finally a picture.

So, here’s the story:  Sean and I buy the three cheese frozen pizzas from Trader Joe’s.  Not the two or the four cheese ones.  Those are gross.  Last time Adam (my brother) came to visit, we did a taste test, and the three cheese pizza was the definite winner.  We use the cheese pizzas as a base for any toppings we want.  They’re so much simpler than making our own pizza dough, especially for those nights when we’ve had too many beers at the brewery and we just need a quick dinner before we pass out on the couch with the dogs. (We do make our own dough sometimes too, but that’s usually reserved for not so drunk nights.)

So, what you do to make pizza eggs is cut a few pieces of bacon up, and fry them in a pan.  Then arrange them on a frozen pizza, so that there are four openings for eggs to fit in.

We cook the pizzas in our toaster oven, because it’s much easier to heat up than the big oven.  I set the heat to 450 which is as high as our oven will go.  Cook the pizza and bacon for five minutes.  Then take the pizza out and crack an egg into each hole.  Be careful not to let eggs run all over the place.  I broke one of the yolks, which sort of sucked, so it would probably be better to crack the eggs into ramekins first to ensure that you don’t have broken yolks.

Raw eggs

Put the pizza back in the oven to bake until the whites are set on the eggs.  Don’t judge us because the oven is dirty.  I bet yours is too.

Here the eggs are almost set.

Set eggs

Give the pizza a little shake when the eggs look done.  If they’re too wobbly let them cook a little more until the whites are set.

In the meantime, I made a little salad of arugula and finely shaved onion, that I dressed with lemon juice, olive oil, and salt and pepper.

Salad stuffSalad

Open yourself a bottle of wine.  In the interest of full disclosure, we had already had too many beers at this point, and the wine was a bad idea. Also, this is a bad picture of some really damn fine wine.

Halter Ranch GSM

When your pizza’s done take it out and sprinkle it with some salt and pepper.  You could have done that earlier when you first put the eggs on the pizza, but I forgot.

Pizza Eggs

Slice the pizza, and then toss your greens with the dressing, and pile them on top of the pizza.



Be sure not to trip over any dogs on the way to the table.


It would have been more delicious if I didn’t overcook the eggs, and the oozy yolk had drizzled everywhere, but maybe next time I’ll get it right.  It probably would have been tasty too to grate some fresh Parmesan over the top of the pizza, but I already told you I was too drunk to remember to do that.

This was a really good dinner. You should try it.

Written by thebeerbitch

April 30, 2008 at 6:17 pm

Posted in Drunken ramblings, Obsessions

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Pizza Eggs

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I’ve been talking about pizza eggs for a while.  I could hear the doubt in Sean’s voice every time I brought it up, but I was convinced they would be a masterpiece.

Lo and behold: I was right.  Just like always.

I kid.  I’m just right sometimes, but I’m really happiest when my food hunches turn out to be extra delicious.

See evidence below:

Or not.  I can’t seem to figure out how to upload pictures.

I’ll be back.

Written by thebeerbitch

April 30, 2008 at 5:34 pm

Posted in Obsessions

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